Thursday, February 17, 2011

Nicaragua: Day One

Day One
After nearly twelve hours of total travel time, the Rancho Ebenezer Work Brigade arrived in Managua, Nicaragua.


We then traveled by bus to Rancho Ebenezer. Here is most of our Brigade in the bus:


When we arrived, we had a snack and took a miniature tour of the farm. Rachel, Amelia and I took a three hour nap, woke up for dinner, and were back to bed by 9:30. It was a great evening!

Here are some random photos from the day.



Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Facebook and Panopticons

I didn't intend on posting anything else today, but I have chosen not to complete my homework for my class that starts in an hour so that I may do something better! (AKA: write!)

In my 19th Century Literature course (the one referenced above, actually), we have been discussing various literary theories. Most of them happen to be commonly known theories by people like Freud, Derrida, and Foucault that we apply to literature (which is a fascinating endeavor in itself). I am going to write about Foucault's panopticon and how Facebook settles into this theory perfectly, but first, I will explain what the theory is.

To fully understand the idea of a panopticon, you have to understand the systems put into place to deal with the plague and leprosy.

The plague consumed many lives, but so did the system that attempted to control the plague. Officials appointed specific doctors for citizens to see so that the citizens could be evaluated. To be put simply, if one was deemed healthy, he or she could return to life as normal, but if one was determined plagued, he or she was removed from society and killed. This was an extremely individualized system because each and every person was evaluated and then directed based on their diagnosis. It was very strictly managed with a goal of segmentation and expulsion of disorder and confusion.

The system for dealing with leprosy was set up in a very different way. Rather than individual evaluation, there were two strict categories: sick or well. If one was considered well, he or she was left in the "pure" society. On the other hand, if one was considered sick, he or she was sent to a leper colony. This binary structure was based entirely on exclusion and separation. The goal was to have two societies: the pure and the impure.

Finally, a panopticon is a combination of the leprosy and plague systems. A successful panopticon pulls individualism from the plague and the idea of a pure society from leprosy and combines them to create a system in which residents are always being monitored. The most fascinating part about the panopticon system in my opinion is the monitoring. The goal is to get everyone to self-monitor, so from an early age, children are taught to follow the rules, not because it's what they want to do, but because it is what they are supposed to do. A great example of this is school. From day one, kids are taught to ask to use the bathroom, follow in a single file line, speak when spoken to, and more generally, follow the rules. The main goal of all of these lessons (and others) is to teach children to self-monitor. In addition to self-monitoring, kids are always being watched by someone else, much like in a panopticon.

Schools teach self-monitoring and respect of societal laws, therefore creating useful and disciplined individuals. This is also the overall goal of a panopticon.

Beginning to see the connection?

Let me explain how Facebook fits in. As an individual, you are the one who decides what to put on your profile and what you want to say...you self-monitor. You think that you have control over yourself, your words, your actions. You take pride in this right. Individualism. What everyone forgets is that you don't really have control over anything. Your friends can post whatever they want on your wall, tag you in any pictures they see fit, and Facebook officials can go as far as deleting your account. So really, what freedoms do Facebook users possess?

In American society, we have a multitude of rules that we live by. I could never create an inclusive list of these rules, but one of the most predominant is appearance. It is important in our society to look the best you can at all times, but it is much more complex than that. The example that my professor used is college girls getting ready to go out on weekends. As they leave, they check themselves in the mirror and subconsciously (though sometimes quite consciously) answer the following: am I too conservative? too slutty? revealing enough to encourage attention, but not so much I get disrespected? These are all questions that society has instilled in our minds as important questions, but how pertinent to life are they really?

I will leave you with a quote from my professor that refers to the subject of societies rules on appearance. She is a humorous lady.

"I am now experiencing my own oppression...let me check myself."

Nicaragua

All right. My plane is leaving for Nicaragua in T-16 hours. I have nothing packed. In fact, the suitcase is still in my mother's closet. I also have to go to the store and buy some shorts because it will be hot there, and I have an extreme lack of shorts.

Oops.

I also have a fair amount of homework due tomorrow that I haven't started.

Oh, and I have to work right after class until 8:15pm tonight.

Nicaragua, I will be ready for you. Somehow.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Goodbye Facebook!

I deleted my Facebook.

Why? We are a technologically obsessed society and I am tired of it. I don't like the idea of getting to know someone over an internet community. If someone wants to learn more about me, they should talk to me, not stalk my profile.

I cannot criticize anyone for using Facebook or even stalking because I did it, too, which is one of the main reasons I am removing it from my life. I don't want to be so creepy! I have an iPhone though, so I'm not really ridding technology entirely.

I don't have anything more to say other than

Goodbye, Facebook!

And good riddance.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Time

Here's a poem I wrote for my class. It's nothing exciting, but I felt like sharing.

The Time

Remember the time?

The time when
A soft touch
Could send chills
Up your spine?

The time when
A sweet look
Could make your heart
Skip a beat?

The time when
A faint kiss
Could create a rush of
Butterflies?

The time when
I had you
And everything seemed
So content?

The time when
Everything
Slipped far...so far,
Out of reach?

The time when
You left me
And my gentle soul
Became hard?

Remember the time?

The time when...
The time
Is now.

For this poem, it is important how you read it...so take brakes between each line. It will sound a little better then.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Blankets, Blankets, Blankets

In order to procrastinate (for emotional stability reasons) on the slideshow I am making of baby Olivia, I am going to pose a simple question:

Why is everyone so obsessed with giving me blankets?

This is certainly not a theme I am going to complain about because I absolutely LOVE blankets, but I just realized how frequently I receive them. Every year on Christmas Eve, someone typically gives me a soft blanket...I like to think of them as couch blankets. Then Katie's mom sent me a blanket, and finally my grandmother practically forced two blankets into my possession this past Christmas. One is soft and warm and pleasantly colored, but I can't say the same for the other. It is black, orange, and brown (the WORST color combination possible) and made out of wool (which doesn't fit in well with my entirely vegan lifestyle). Despite those terrible facts, I absolutely adore this blanket, and here are the reasons why:
  1. It was handwoven
  2. My grandma gave it to me
  3. My grandmother explained that it was her great grandmother's, and considering that my grandma is 95 years old, the blanket is probably 150 years old
How could I not keep it and cherish it?

I.love.blankets.

Please.Send.Blankets.

Whenever.you.want.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

"You will make a beautiful angel"

Grief.
noun
deep sorrow,
esp. that caused by someone's death

Yesterday, one of my dearest friend's daughter passed away. My friend Elizabeth is the mother of two beautiful children, Kaden (four) and Olivia (four months). Elizabeth laid Olivia down for a nap on the dark morning of January 7th, 2011, and sweet Olivia never woke up. They are still investigating to discover the cause.

It is strange what grief does to a person. I hardly slept last night, nor have I eaten anything all day and I'm not hungry in the slightest. I keep going from tears and uncontrollable sobs to total denial, and Olivia wasn't even my baby. I can hardly function, so multiply all of that by a million and you might have an idea of what Elizabeth and Adam (Olivia's father) must be going through right now. When I visited them, Elizabeth told the story four times and barely cried. Adam said maybe twenty words over the course of almost three hours and cried quite a bit. Elizabeth says that she wants to stay busy, but she is having an awful time making decisions regarding simple things, like whether she should reply to text messages. Quite obviously, we are grieving very differently, but differing even more from us is my mother. She grieves by comforting. She is there 100% for all of us, especially Elizabeth and Adam, and she will do anything and everything for anyone who asks.

I keep wondering how the world is going on without Olivia. She was a perfect, beautiful, sweet four month old baby, and now she is gone, but the world hasn't noticed. I had to serve at Olive Garden tonight and it baffles me that people want to go out to eat and have a good time tonight when a baby passed away so recently. I had a very difficult time caring about what my guests desired. I do realize that this way of thinking is incredibly irrational, but it is present despite this fact.

For Olivia, rest in peace, sweet baby. As a friend said, "You will make a beautiful angel, Olivia."