For a Dear Friend

At age eighteen, she had a son.

At age nineteen, she was threatened at gunpoint by her fiance.

At age twenty, she was homeless.

At age twenty-one, she got fired from her job.

At age twenty-two, she found out she was pregnant again.

At age twenty-three, her infant daughter died.

Soon thereafter, her ex-fiance and ex-boyfriend teamed up and took her five-year-old away from her.

On June 27th she will find out if, after five long months, she can finally have her son back.

In the five years of knowing one of my dearest friends, she has been nothing but a mountain. No matter what is hurled toward her, she remains immovable. She is the strongest person I know, and the best mother I will ever meet.

Please keep her in your thoughts as she continues along the journey of her life, just praying to make it through each day.

My friend, I love you and your son more than you know.

Plenty of Tofu

I just saw an add in my Gmail account that read, "How to catch him and keep him," and I realized that we think of men as fish. Don't ask me why I never realized this before, but we are constantly talking about how we need to "catch" a man and "keep" him, and when we fail to do so we are told, "there are plenty of fish in the sea!"

Wait, what?

So I get that it's a metaphor, but why fish of all things? Do the makers of catch phrases intend on excluding vegans?! I mean, come on. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, don't worry, there is plenty of tofu in the store." That sounds awful.

I vote we implement a new catch phrase that excludes no one based on dietary restrictions.

You want an example? Sorry, I don't make catch phrases...if I did, we wouldn't be in this mess!

Hamsters, Babies, and Zacharies.

Dear Hamsters:

Lucy and Ruth...I don't know what happened to you, and I miss you terribly. I have an idealistic dream that you two escaped from your cage and made your way out of my house, through the terrible downtown neighborhood in which we live, and into a field where you can gleefully frolic for the rest of your short lives. Then I think about the other options...you could be mutant hamsters, murdering small cats in the neighborhood with your alien fangs and tiger claws. Or maybe you're dead in my house somewhere, rotting after starving to death...*puke*...I hope that isn't happening. Nonetheless, I miss the sound of you chewing endlessly on the side of your cage, despite my hot sauce and cat defenses, and I miss the gross layer of hamster crap that lined your cage day after day. May you rest in peace (or eat cats with joy).

Dear Baby Johnson:

I cannot begin to explain how excited I am that the mother of my children is popping out a FOURTH baby! Yeah, that's you, accident and all. You are going to be the most beautiful baby boy in the world and I can't wait to contemplate kidnapping you. I heard all of the current name potentials and, I have to say, I'm really banking on Will. You seem like a Will to me. When you are seventeen and yelling at your mom because she won't let you do whatever stupid teenager thing you want to do, remember how much love for you that all of us feel for you already, before you are born.

Dear Zacharies:

I salute you, guys named Zachary. Zach D., my best friends brother, you are awesome: you fix things, you make fun of me, and you make funny jokes...you are awesome. Zach W., you are awesome: your reasons are, well, secret, but...you are awesome. Zachary Levi, you are awesome: you are adorable, talented, and funny...you are awesome. I salute you, awesomefixeruperteaserfunnysecretiveadorabletalentedguysnamedZachary.

Hide and Seek

Family Photos

I took my siblings to Dawes today and took a bunch of photos! Here are a few of the best (and silliest).

Diane started taking pictures.

We are ninjas.

I should have been a model.

They were having a prison fight.

She's the badass in prison.

Pretty sunset!

Don't tell Ed I took this.

They were singing "We Are the Champions."

Steph and Di.

I adore them.

Ed was holding Diane upside down above the water.

They didn't know I was photographing them.

Racing.

They match! I turned around and they were standing like this...

all on their own. Their feet were even in the same position.

Matt putting his hand in his pocket to be like Ed.

Ed wouldn't hold Diane's hand, but it's close!

Too bad Matt wasn't smiling!

Osama bin Laden

I have resisted writing on the death of bin Laden, but I can't resist anymore.

Honestly, I am disgusted with the way in which the United States has reacted to someone's death. I do not that he was probably not the greatest of people, nor do I deny that he was a threat to our country, but does that really give us the right to celebrate a life ending? Consider this...he was someone's son, brother, husband, father. How would you feel if millions of people got drunk in celebration of your father's death? It's obnoxious, whether he was good or bad.

Not to mention the fact that killing him won't end terrorism. It's not like he was the only one giving orders...think about these things, people. He wasn't an idiot...I'm sure he had a plan for when he died.

Upon hearing the news, Katy Perry "tweeted:"

"I believe in justice... but don't u think that an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind? ☹"

(source)

I have to say, I have a new level of respect for her. She obviously sees the negativity brooding in our country through our offensive nationalism. Of course, I'm happy and proud to be an American citizen, but nationalism, along with other selfish and prideful desires, is what causes war (check your history books).

Click here to see photos of my peers partying on the East Quad of Denison.

I'm sorry if you disagree, but I don't see how getting drunk and screaming "USA! USA! USA!" really provides any glimpse of justice for those who died on 9/11.

Think before you speak. Think before you act.

"Loving the unlovable in others and yourself and realizing its one and the same is a secret to miracles."

Summer...what?

As of 10:33 this morning, I am officially on summer break...I think. Honestly, I'm not too sure what it feels like. I can't comprehend the idea of not being totally stressed all the time. Even when I thought I was relaxed, I think I was still a little stressed out. Going to a private college AND working 35 hours a week or more can certainly put a damper on your mental state. But now, for the next month, I only have to work. Did you read that? ONLY WORK...for an entire month! Then, once summer actually comes around, I will be working about 60 hours per week, which seems like a lot...but it's the ONLY thing I have to do.

This is blowing my mind.

I really don't have anything else to say. Although, I would like to brag about the fact that I wrote 40 pages in less than twenty four hours! I think that's pretty impressive considering that I started writing around 1am Sunday night, worked until 11:30 the next morning (with 1.5 hours of sleep), went to class, worked for a few hours, and then continued writing until midnight Monday.

Oh. Yes. I am most certainly a college student.

Liberal Arts

Here is a poem I wrote at about 6:00 this morning trying to meet the writing requirement for my Creative Writing class. It's called "Liberal Arts"


I have not slept
Yet the sun is rising
As I stare at the screen with contempt

My stomach is churning
My eyes are aching
From hours of summarizing my learning

Papers poems and stories
When I finally finish all 45 pages
Oh the glory

I am sure my professor will hate this poem
But after being awake for 24 hours
This is all I have to show him

Final Papers

My final papers will be the death of me! I only have one exam, and it's a take home exam...which is great! Except that I have a minimum of 50 pages to write. Plus the one final, which is composed entirely of essay questions. Make it 52 pages.

Great.

The first ten pages are due tomorrow (three pages down...seven to go!), the rest on Monday. But hey, I'm done in a week!

Besides, I'm a Creative Writing major...this should be easy for me, right? Wrong. Creative Writing apparently does NOT equal essay writing.

Awesome.

It's okay though. I've got this!

Back to work. Good luck to everyone else who has finals coming up! And I hope you have somewhere around 50 pages less writing to do than I do.

P.S. Check this out.

Trees and People (again)

Last weekend when I had my revelation about people and trees, I thought heavily about the different kinds of trees people can be. For example, a friend of mine and I don't get always get along, but last weekend I started thinking of her as a dogwood tree. Dogwoods are small and fragile, and they do not compare in height or age or wisdom to most other trees, like a tall pine perhaps. At first I thought, 'well, that makes sense. She's not on my level,' imagining myself as the taller tree. But then I realized that it isn't height, age, or wisdom that defines a tree as good or bad. Dogwood trees are small, but they certainly do not lack in beauty or brilliance. It was unreasonable of me to compare a pine tree to a dogwood. Like they say, it's like comparing apples and oranges.

Take a few minutes to think about yourself and those around you as trees. What kind are you? How does looking at people with all the magnificence of their tree-self help you accept people as they are? It helps me a lot. Try it.

Random Photos

I haven't posted much lately, but I have wanted to. I have also been dying from the lack of photography in my life currently (thanks a lot, winter), so here are a few random photos from my portfolio. Enjoy! And remember, if you or anyone you know needs photos taken for any reason (senior, family, business, advertising, publicity, wedding, etc.), hit me up!

Trees and Us

After a long, beautiful, cleansing night at the homestead with three of the most beautiful people I know, I have come to a realization. As humans, we are all experiencing the world around us in our own individual ways, but it's all still the same world. From this, I thought of trees. Humans are like trees. Each tree has its roots that extend deep beneath the surface of the earth and each tells a singular, distinct story that grows, and grows, and grows. Individually, these trees extend high into the sky, experiencing the world from top to bottom. But collectively we can look upon these trees and see that they make up the woods, or a forrest, or even a small garden. What matters is that they are all independent entities that experience the world in their own singular ways, yet fit together so perfectly to weave the beautiful tapestry we call our world.

That's what we are. All of us. Trees. Individual. Together. Trees.

Two Years and Counting

Two years ago today, at almost this exact time, we officially adopted my four youngest siblings, Edgar, Stephanie, Diane, and Matthew. The choice to adopt them was a family decision, and Ed and Steph both had the opportunity to choose to be placed in another home at that time, but they decided to be adopted by us instead.

I have to say that despite all of the difficulties we're having with them right now, I don't regret our decision for a second. They are just as much my family as my biological brothers are, and I love them completely. Because of this, they are damn good at breaking my heart (and my mom's), but hey, that's what family is for, right?

Anyway, there isn't much more to say, just that I love you guys, and I am so so so happy that you all became apart of our family.

Te amaré por siempre.

Smiles

Why doesn't anyone in Ohio smile? People in Nicaragua have little more than dirt (in comparison with the U.S. in terms of material possessions, anyway), yet they smile ALL the time. Here at Denison, everyone is wealthier than they realize, with their North Face coats and Ugg boots, yet they keep their eyes down and walk right past me. Making eye contact with anyone on this campus is a surprise, and when I get a smile in return - wow. It's a big deal.

It shouldn't be, though. Everybody here has so much to be grateful for, and so many things to be happy about. I don't know why anyone frowns on this campus!

I really, really miss Nicaragua. The 30 degree weather certainly doesn't help anything either.

Nicaragua: Day Ten

Day Ten

Today was our final full day. I had a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning (and from my nap in the afternoon), but I made it and it was a successful day. We finished the dorm room painting and I did some homework (I have four out of nineteen tasks finished......whoops). At lunch, everyone surprised Zach and me with birthday cakes because my birthday was yesterday and Zach's is tomorrow (Happy 18th!). Both cakes looked quite tasty!

In the afternoon, we napped and then took care of the kids for the last time. It was really sad to see them go, but I have decided to write to them, so I don't feel quite as terrible as I could. I will most certainly miss them!

The evening has been incredibly stressful for pretty much everyone, but there's no need to go into that. Since tonight was our last supper, we decided to make a rendition of "The Last Supper." Here it is:

The Last Supper

I will leave you with a question. Is it really best to protest and not buy clothing from companies that use sweatshops? The reason I ask is because many people in Nicaragua are employed in sweatshops, and even though they work in awful conditions for very little pay/benefits, it is the only job they can attain and it supports their families. So is it best to protest, or will that just cause pain on an individual level? Think about it.

Goodbye, Nicaragua! I will miss you.

Day Eight

Well, I lost my card reader, so I can't upload any pictures to my computer, which means no photos for you at the moment. But don't worry, I'll find it eventually! I hope.

This morning I woke up to Zach, Seth, and Faran singing "happy birthday" to me as they served me breakfast in bed (thank you all!), and then I was sung to by everyone in our group during devotions. After devotions, a group of us walked to one of the schools nearby. It took about twenty-five minutes on a scary road to get to the school, but it was definitely worth it! The kids were all really excited to see us, plus we got to see how schools work around here. After our visit was over, we decided (stupidly) to take a different way back to the ranch. Two members (who shall remain unnamed...*ehem*) told us that it was only a little bit longer and that there were fewer hills, but oh, were they wrong. Total, we walked for two hours. No joke. And there were just as many hills, they were just less concentrated and of lower elevation.

I have to add that we did stop twice, once at a really nice Seven Eleven (not the American company...there are local sellers of pop and Gatorade in random locations and we call them Seven Elevens), and once at a farm worker's house. But those stops lasted no longer than 30 minutes put together.

For obvious reasons, we were exhausted.

We arrived back at the ranch just in time for lunch, and then kids came an hour early, so we hardly got a break at all. We hung out with the kids for a couple of hours and then got ready for the fiesta!

The fiesta was most definitely a success. A lot of really great music, good food, and great people. But most of all, dancing. We danced for probably two hours! Unfortunately, not many of the Nicaraguans joined us besides the kids, but we had a blast anyway!

Quite suddenly, the party ended and the music was shut off. We certainly weren't ready yet though, so about five of us limboed until we couldn't limbo any longer! I almost won...I think it was sort of a tie between Dan and me, but he probably won. He's quite limber for an old (ha) man. :p

And that was day eight!

Here is another random fact about Nicaragua:

Many of the horses here have something called "Empty Stomach Disease." This is exactly what it sounds like...their stomachs are empty because their owners can't afford to buy them the food they need. It's really sad to see sickly horses walking by on a daily basis, and I hope that something can be done to fix it. I think many of the dogs could be considered to have the same disease...they are pretty deprived as well.

Goodnight, and happy birthday to me!

Nicaragua: Days Six/Seven/Eight

Well, I got busy and tired so I neglected to post anything. I apologize for that. Here is a brief description of the last three days:

Day Six

Today we did some more farm work (scoopin the poopin) and then I did homework while everyone else painted one of the dorm rooms. Then in the afternoon, we had a really great time with the kids. A little girl named Katia gave me a purple ring (that I wear on my right ring finger now!) and we all had a fulfilling afternoon. This was definitely the best day of the entire trip (so far, anyway).

Day Seven

Today we painted one of the dorm rooms, working mostly on the trim (ick). We only did this for about an hour because we had an early lunch and then got on the bus for a two hour drive to the BEACH. We went to a place called San Juan del Sur which, unfortunately, is a touristy town. Despite what we were told about it being pretty Americanised, it really wasn't too bad! The water was wonderful and we all had a fantastic time. We got there in the early afternoon and stayed til about two hours after the sun went down.

Day Eight

Energy was low and moods weren't so great throughout the day today. The younger members of our group (myself included) slept through breakfast and devotions, but they saved food for us! Then we painted two different dorm rooms - one complete, one close to being finished, ate lunch, took naps, and then watched kids again. The kids have gotten really comfortable with us, which is great, except that they don't listen as well anymore, and they get into our boxes of stuff without permission. Oops.

After dinner and reflections, we set up a skit about stone soup that we will perform tomorrow during the fiesta. Speaking of tomorrow, it's my 20th birthday! Luckily for me, we are having a fiesta! Perfect timing.

Here are some pictures from all three days:

My Spanish name!

This is Katia!

Rachel and me playing with some play-dough.

Zach and crazy Marion.

Riley!

The beautiful Sunset!

Matthew and Aaron playing with Riley.

Welcome to San Juan del Sur!

Everyone else is being normal...Rachel looks crazy.

And to make up for it, here's a cute photo!

Faran and Aaron having a bromance.

Seth!

Rachel and me

Leah was there with us!

Nicaragua: Day Five

Day Five

So there isn't much to tell for today. Because it's Sunday, we had little responsibility on the farm, and a group of us took a walk. Our group consisted of Faran, Rachel, Amelia, Seth, Zach, Matthew, and me, and we walked approximately four miles to a town (I can't remember the name, unfortunately). In the town, we bought food from a store that we later found out is owned by Walmart (EW), so that sucked, but it's nice to have something to eat besides rice and beans!

It took us an hour to walk to town on the hilly dirt roads in the 90 degree weather, but we took a taxi back for about half of the trip, and that was only twenty cordobas a person (one U.S. dollar). We had a good time despite the heat and the really long walk. Here are some pictures!

I picked this up and made it into a hat!

Matthew and Faran walked ahead of the rest of us for pretty much the entire walk.

From inside the taxi.

Rachel and Amelia

I have no idea what this is for, but I love it!

A lot of the buildings around here look like this one.

This is what a lot of the roads look like in this area.

Dirt, dirt, dirt.

Pretty flower.

Seth!

We put Rachel's camera in this tree so we could get a photo of all of us on the road!

Someone hanging out in the town.

"One for you, and one for me." - Bright Eyes.